Frequently Asked Questions

A: Reaching out is a courageous first step. It marks the moment you have decided to no longer settle for a relationship that feels like a constant struggle or where you have drifted apart. By seeking support, you are making a clear choice to move beyond the current friction and rediscover the potential of your partnership. Once you get in touch, I will respond to you within the next business day.  From there, we will find a time that works for everyone to have a brief, individual telephone call with each member of the couple. This initial phone call is a vital part of the process for several reasons:

• A Sense of Your Needs: It allows me to get a brief sense of what is bringing you both to therapy at this time.

• How I Work: It gives me a chance to explain a little more about my therapeutic approach and how we will work together.

• Finding Our Time: We will use this time to see if there is a consistent weekly day-time slot that works for us all. This dedicated weekly time-slot provides the containment and stability needed for deep, effective relational work.

A: I work with couples from across Ireland and internationally, and I find both formats to be highly effective. The choice depends entirely on what best serves your relationship’s needs:

The In-Person Experience: Many couples find that leaving their home environment to meet in a dedicated, neutral space helps them speak more openly away from daily distractions. Interestingly, couples who travel long distances to my East Cork cabin often report that the journey itself is beneficial. The travel time to the session allows for mental preparation, while the journey home allows time to process the work before returning to their routine.

The Flexibility of Online Therapy: Others prefer the convenience of secure video sessions for busy schedules or if they are living a long distance away. This format is incredibly flexible; you may join from the same room, or, if your schedules require it, join from separate locations such as your respective offices or homes.

A:  If you find yourselves stuck in the same repetitive arguments, your relationship feels flat, or you feel like polite co-habitants rather than intimate partners, therapy can help.   Whether you are struggling with a breach of trust or simply a loss of connection, I provide a neutral, safe space to navigate those repairs before the distance grows too wide.  You don’t have to wait until a crisis to reach out.  As an experienced couples therapist I help you understand where you break down in these cycles and teach you practical skill-sets to do things differently to bring you closer. If there is a mutual willingness to engage, it is never too late to shift from merely co-existing to truly re-connecting and bring vitality back into your relationship.

A: It is very common for one partner to feel a little nervous about starting this process. I work in a balanced way, which means my client is the relationship, not one individual. I hear what you are struggling with from each of your unique perspectives.  I always suggest a brief, separate phone call with each of you before we ever begin and clients usually feel more comfortable knowing their difficulties will be respected and addressed fairly.

A: No. My role is not to decide the fate of your marriage, but to be guided entirely by your goals. If your goal is to improve your connection, I will work with you to explore exactly what is getting in the way of that.  I am committed to helping couples prevent a pre-mature divorce born out of reactive pain. I have successfully worked with many couples who arrived on the brink of separation and helped them transform their relationship into something stronger and more resilient than before.

A: It is very common for couples to enter therapy in this predicament, often with one partner leaning in to the relationship and the other leaning out.  If you are in this space of uncertainty, I would like you to know that I do not have an agenda to convince either of you to stay or to go.  Instead, my role is to help you both truly understand each other’s pain. By trying different ways of relating and addressing the cycles that have kept you stuck, the dynamic often shifts. Partners typically gain the internal clarity needed to know their path forward. Whether that path leads to a renewed commitment or a conscious parting, therapy ensures your decision is made from a place of deep insight rather than exhaustion or "what ifs."  Putting it bluntly, couples therapy is far less costly and disruptive than a divorce.  Many times, by engaging in marriage counselling, a painful divorce can be avoided, and so too can the heavy toll of settling for an unhappy marriage.

A: No. My role is not to impose a specific outcome on your relationship, but to be guided entirely by what you want. If you have both reached the decision to end your marriage or partnership, I will not try to talk you out of it. Instead, I will work with you to achieve the "good ending" you are both looking for. I facilitate this process in as delicate, careful, and respectful a way as possible.  The end of a relationship is a significant life transition, and therapy can provide a contained space to navigate the practical and emotional complexities of parting. My goal in these circumstances is to help you both move forward with clarity, minimizing further hurt and ensuring that the transition is handled with the dignity and care that your history together deserves.

A: Yes, recovery is possible, but it requires a very specific, careful process. While an affair can feel like a shattering of the relationship, therapy provides a structured way to navigate the trauma of betrayal. In my practice, the first stage is about stabilization and containment. I provide a safe space for the person who feels betrayed to process what is often a profound trauma, helping to steady the relationship while emotions are raw.  I also offer a non-judgmental space for the partner who had the affair. Once we have achieved some stability, we move toward exploring the meaning of the affair—not to excuse it, but to understand it. Over time, this dual approach allows both partners to work toward genuine healing and a deeper, more honest reconnection.

A: Yes, it is. One of the most rewarding parts of my work is witnessing couples re-ignite the spark they feared was gone forever. Many partners come to me feeling as though they are strangers, only to find that through the process of therapy, they begin to remember exactly why they chose each other in the first place.  This transformation doesn't happen by ignoring the past, but by learning how to work through the disappointments and hurts together. When you have expert facilitation to slowly and safely navigate those painful places, the walls begin to come down.  By learning a new way to communicate and repair, many couples find they feel much closer than before.

A: This course is a modern, practical alternative to traditional group settings. It is designed for couples at any stage of commitment—whether you are planning a religious wedding, a civil or humanist ceremony, or moving in together.  Unlike generic group courses, this is a completely private experience for just one couple at a time. This allows me to move away from a “one-size-fits-all” curriculum. Instead, I tailor the session specifically to you, focusing on the areas that are most important for you to explore together. This allows us to focus entirely on your unique dynamic, your history, and your specific hopes for the future.

A: Absolutely. The primary purpose of this course is to "future-proof" your relationship during major life transitions.  You do not need to be planning a wedding to benefit from this work. In fact, many couples choose to do this course when they are:

• Expecting a Baby: Moving from partners to parents is one of the biggest identity shifts you will ever experience. We work on strengthening your teamwork and communication before the sleepless nights begin.

• Moving in Together: Discussing the expectations each of you may have early on prevents small frictions from becoming deep-seated resentments later.

• Deepening a Commitment: Whether you are getting married or deciding to build a life together, this course provides a dedicated space to align your values and goals.

A: Couples often choose to travel to my Co. Cork practice because they are looking for a bespoke, one-to-one experience rather than a generic group setting. There is something deeply powerful about stepping out of your daily environment—the chores, the routine, and the distractions—to focus entirely on one another.  Some couples choose to turn the experience into a relationship retreat by staying overnight or making a weekend of it in the beautiful East Cork area. Combining the course with a relaxing getaway allows you to immediately put your new skills into practice, creating intimate, dedicated time to celebrate your future together. Whether we meet at my cabin or you carve out that same intentional space for an online session, the focus remains entirely on nurturing the bond that brought you together and protecting it for the years to come.

A: Not at all. There is a long-standing, wise tradition in many cultures that recognizes the importance of preparing for a lifelong commitment before the milestone itself. We focus on practical, skill-sets. My goal is to provide a warm and supportive space to facilitate those important conversations that might not have taken place yet.  We work together to ensure you have the communication tools and mutual understanding to navigate the years ahead with confidence. It is about prioritizing your bond and giving your relationship the best possible start in a private, expert-led environment.  I want to support you to sustain the love you have right now for each other.

A:  The first step is to get in touch and let me know when you would like to take the course. We will then have a brief telephone call so I can answer any questions and we can find a date that is mutually convenient. Once we have booked your session, I will send each of you a detailed questionnaire to complete and return to me before we begin. This allows me to tailor the course specifically to your relationship, ensuring we focus on the areas that matter most to you.  The course itself lasts 3 hours. When you finish the course, I provide a Certificate of Completion for your records. Most importantly, you will leave with a comprehensive relationship manual. This is a practical toolkit and guide designed specifically for your partnership. It serves as a supportive, lifelong resource that you can refer back to throughout your marriage.

A: No, this is not therapy. This course is a facilitated preparation program designed for couples at the beginning of their lifelong commitment. While I am a specialist couples psychotherapist, this specific service is about providing you with a high-level skillset to navigate the complexities of long-term partnership.  My role is to facilitate the essential conversations that many of my clients later in life wish they could have had much earlier. Think of it as relational insurance: a proactive investment to help you identify and prevent common pitfalls before they arise, ensuring your relationship has a robust foundation from day one. This course is about ensuring your connection remains a source of joy, curiosity, and intimacy for decades to come.